


JRWI Inktober Day 29 - Taxi

by 6Writers1Trenchcoat



Category: Just Roll With It (Podcast)
Genre: Battle, Magic, gross little goblin, mountaaaaaaaaiiiiiin, oh taxi, stupid tabaxi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27150647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/6Writers1Trenchcoat/pseuds/6Writers1Trenchcoat
Summary: "Are you sure this will work?" the tabaxi asked, planting his feet firmly in the ground."Positive!" Br'aad grinned back."Ok, well on the count of three then, one-""THREE!" Br'aad yelled, raising his palms up to the sky.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	JRWI Inktober Day 29 - Taxi

**Author's Note:**

> MY NAME IS SPHY AND I'M HERE TO SAY  
> TAXI EATS SAND EVERYDAY
> 
> HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA GET SANDED!!!!
> 
> THAT'S RIGHT! YOU HAVE BEEN TRICKED, BAMBOOZLED, DISCOMBOBULATED!!
> 
> People of the JRWI fandom we would like to proudly present SAND 5: ELECTRIC JIVE
> 
> kept you waiting huh?  
> (this was written by Sphy, Milly, Shadow, Freddie and Jack)

SNAD:

The night was cold, and the stars shone bright. Mountain and Hilltree had been planning for this very night. It all came down to this. They knew that their tabaxi _“friend”_ was looking for them and after velrisa’s disappearance they knew that tonight was the night.

Jail had been shit. The cots they slept in were hard and uncomfortable, the food was tough and lacked any real flavour, and the dread- the dread that sat in the pits of the inmates’ stomachs. They knew what that cat would be up to. Something disgusting. Something… _sandy_. They couldn’t spend anymore time wasting away in their cell, however, as they needed to escape.

The plan was simple, which was a good thing seeing as their combined intelligence was of that of a doorknob. Taxi would likely go in through the front of the building, and would likely attract the attention of any and all guards. This meant that all they had to do was leave through any of the side exits that were meant for staff, and then try not to get caught. 

The two sat, waiting for the perfect moment. Mountain whistled a melancholy tune as his back pressed against the hard brick wall of the dingy cell. Hilltree led on the top bunk, listening to the footsteps of passing guards.

“Is it time, Mountain?” The disgusting, ugly, stinky little goblin asked. Mountain sighed irritatedly as he halted his whistling.

“I’ll tell you when it’s time.”

The grimey goblin grunted in response and continued to listen. The escape would have to happen soon. Who knew where that weeaboo catboy was and what he was planning next. All they knew was that he was in the prison and he was planning to kill them next. 

A sudden loud bang that came from the front of the prison shooke the walls of their cell. Guards ran past the cell, their armour clinking and clunking. 

“Alright lets fucking goooooooo,” mountain said once the sounds of footsteps had become distant enough. Hilltree hopped down off of his bunk bed, his little goblin feet hitting the stone ground with a slapping noise. Mountain grabbed the bars of the cell and, mustering all of his strength, pulled them apart so that there was a gap big enough for the both of them to fit through. They ran past vel’s old cell, the gross goblin giving a tiny sob. 

“Hilltree i swear to god stop being so emotional, little fucking bitch baby,” mountain scorned, tears streaking down his own face

Their footsteps echoed off of the walls. Or maybe it was the ceilings. Where their feet even on the fucking floor? He couldn’t see them- he didn’t know. What he did know what that he and that fuckin bitch baby Hilltree had to get out fo this place as soon as possible, because along with their ceiling footsteps the soft trickle of sand filled their ears.

“Heeheehoo where are you going my little sandlings?” The manic and gravely- no, sandy voice ceilinged out, flooring off the bounce. 

“I love sand, sand loves me, I’m gonna fucking nom on Hilltree- little piss baby goblin bitch.”

“Y’know what? Go ahead and nom on Hilltree I hate that fucking goblin anyway, god what a little bitch what a fucking disgusting vermon creature,” Mountain chuckled in response. “I really fuckin hate that guy, Gods what a fuckin horible little bitch boy little vermin rat.”

“WAI’ WHA’? AW FUCK I’M A GROSS GOBLIN BLEURGH” the fucking slimy bitch ass piss baby known as hilltree (if it even deserved a name) gurgle out.

“FUCK IS RIGHT PISS BITCH- I’LL TURN YOU INTO SAND AND YOU’LL BE REUNITED WITH THAT ELF BITCH YOU GREW SO FOND OF!” The ceiling yelled, throwing his arms out wide and cackling, sand pawing from his gaping maw and falling on the piss bitch like a golden shower.

The fugly goblining thingy ewwww i dont even wanna talk about him hilltree sobbed at the mention of his dead sylnan. “TAXI GURGGLE GURRGLE TAKE ME I WAN SEE SYLLNANNNAAAA EWWW GOBLIN NOISES”

As the disgusting fucking beast ugly horrible little monster cried over his lost friend, the sandbag ‘Taxi, sand man Tabaxi’ turned his attention to Mountain.

“IM GOING TO NOM ON YOU LIKE I NOMMED ON MY SANDY MUM NUMMY NUMMY SANY MMMMMMMM” The saxi taxi sandy cat shoveled the slowly disentigrting walls into his with as hsi claws grew andstared hooving up as much wall sand as possible, his power growing and multiplying like a gross sandy bacteria, liek gravel but smaller and saltierer Like the ceiling, but on the floor and furry and sandered like a beech but not a beach like the stairs leading to the beach, slippery fucks.

“Taxi. My friend. My _brother_. We’ve been through so much together. Please… It’s still not too late,” Mountain pleaded, watching someone who used to be his friend fall into madness (due to all of the yummy yum yum sand ofc ofc). 

“Ooohhhh _Mountain._ You are just like your friends before you. So blinded by the social norms of not eating sand. But I? I have been enlightened. Y’see, i’m not like other tabaxis, mountain, i eat my friends when they annoy me. And you? Well, you are starting to get on my nerves,”

“But, Taxi, I thoutght it was mans before sands” mountain looked betrayed at teh beast inrront of him, the sandy sandy grainy kitty cat waaaaaa awwwwww kitty catttt but worse and sandy and humanoid and a furry. And also a weeaboo. And also like the ceiling he so loves to blend into and also because its high up and hes always high. Off sand.

“I love to be high you stout, non sand loving ass.” 

“Come with me and youll be able to wee clearly again”

“I have been having urinary troubles Mountain, but you don’t need to draw attention to it.”

“See! We can help you! Find you a good GP! We can sort out your peepee problems together!”

“Kinda gay ngl, uwu” “Might be considered a lill weirdchamp ngl.”

Taxi took a step towards mountain, sand flowing from his paws. He looked like a 10 pixel image he was so grainy. He smirked, more sand falling from his lips.  
“It’s time for your life to be ended, Mr MountMan.” 

“10 pixel bitch, bitch. Im better than youre 2’2 ass, you tiny piss chid” taxi said, toweirng over the small man in a sandy way. “Also get tf out og here with that seeing clearly shit, glass it gross!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 !”

“Glass is just evolved sand you cuck.” 

“Maybe to you, my friend, but to me? SAND MEANS EVERYTHING!” as he opened his gaping maw to roar this proclamation of love his eyes lit up and his sand powers fully activated. “HAHHAHAHA YES! I CAN FEEL IT NOOOOW” he giggled. 

Mountain cowered, his usual 2 foot 2 inch height diminishing to a foot and a half. 

“MMM YOMMY SCROMMY GET IN MY TUMMY!” and he thrust his palms out and shot a beam of pure sand coloured energy out of his paws and towards mountain.

It hit his chest, which immediately caved as he slowly became sand. He lurched forward, gagging, but all that came up was sand. Tears fell- but they were no longer tears. They were sand. He closed his eyes but his eyelids were sand so he opened them again.

Everything was cake, but instead of being cake, it was sand. And he was it. After a few long and drawn out cakeless minutes, purely added for filler purposes, mountain was gona and all that remained was a pile of grainy, coarse, rough, grainy not cake sand. As with those before, TAxi scooped it into his sandbag that he wore on his belt and stood there solemnly for a second. 

“Aww crikey aww fuck i better skeddadle aww fuck bleurgh” the absolutely abhorrent waste of flesh called hilltree whispered to himself as he started to run, unnoticed by the tabaxi, who was still savouring victory.

**_Miles Away~_ ** **_~~_ ** **_~_ **

The hot sand sanded between his toes. He fucking hated it. That cat would pay for sanding his friends, whether it was the last thing he did. Grainy shadow fell over the man’s figure as he uttered the first words he’d said in months.

“Fuck you, Taxi the Sandbag.”

FIN BUT ITS VERY SANDY

**Author's Note:**

> Panic area (general panic caused by the fic):  
> Hey boiz  
> Lads lads lads lads UwU? ;)  
> Hhvggbvbhfdtrhgrt fre ddd bbie  
> Exxexxise  
> Someone start writing something. Quick.  
> How yall doin  
> OwO  
> I wuv you guys OwO UwU >.<  
> Aha hey *bites lip*  
> Hahaha what the fuck?  
> Good ol ceiling footsteps :)  
> It’s like saw or something. Just keep liking into the past and shot  
> Check the timeline smh  
> SANDLINGS  
> Someone else pick up i’ve already written a lot :p  
> I’m finna need to sleep in a few minutes maybe i might do the irresponsible thing and not sleep  
> We’re just bullying hilltree wtf  
> Its really funny sphy its really quite amusing  
> Trying so hard to perceive what any of this sayus  
> Yeah im supposed to get up and do extreme hidey tig in the morning this is a terrible idea yet here we are  
> What the fuck is even going on i cant read my stuff because my laptop is a peice of shit  
> Yeah he deepthroated a sand sword  
> yuh  
> That just doesn't make sense  
> Making sense desnt matter here  
> Its not even about sand anymore  
> YESSSSSSS  
> Nummy samnd mmmmmmmmmmmmm licks sand 0w0  
> This just reads like a sonic fandub  
> As an aside ‘wee’ was supposed to say ‘see’ but we do not fix our mistakes in the trenchcoat oh no no  
> Im a god  
> Thin peen  
> Tubbo mc youtube  
> Those messages should not be in succdnsuon im sorry that is not what I mean  
> 2% left boys  
> “He has a momery where he makes mum shaped sand and vores it”


End file.
